The Summoning of Captain Constitution
A short-short story by Seth Underwood
Comic Cover Done by Matthew Childers
Editors Note: Originally published on Seth Underwood’s Stories website back in 2016, this short-short has been a little updated. It’s our ode to the October Surprise for the 2022 U.S. election cycle.
At a Metro bus stop at Constitution Avenue NW and 15th Street NW in Washington, DC, near the Ellipse, sat several people waiting for the 630.
Just then there was a mighty clap of thunder and a gust of wind and in an instance standing before them was a nearly seven-foot-tall square jawed man dressed in red, white, and blue tights with a red cape.
Pointing to the sky, the superhero character proclaimed in a booming voice, “By the Ancient Rights of the Founding Fathers, I felt a great disturbance in the Constitution's Preamble and have been summoned forth. For I am Captain Constitution!”
Just then, a yellow taxi drove up in the lane Captain Constitution was standing and the driver honked his horn at him. As this happened, the people waiting for the bus said, “Hey dude, get out of the street!”
“Yes, of course, citizens.” Said the gallant Captain Constitution. But the reactions of the citizens waiting for the bus at his appearance puzzled the Captain. They were not in awe or amazement. They simply went about their business reading their papers, looking at their phones, and basically ignoring him.
Standing somewhat before them, but not in the street, he said, “So, like I was saying, I felt a great disturbance in the Constitution's Preamble. Do any of you feel that the tranquility of the Nation is in jeopardy? Or is it a lack of promotion of general welfare? Or even the securement of liberty and prosperity is at risk?”
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